why do i write？

its a question ive always been asking myself since i started blogging.but i had it all in mind,the answer.
Yes,i like to question myself a lot.

I didnt,i do not write for praise nor publicity (read:borders are literary)
I dont write with the intention of bringing people down,to put a person in shame,false accusation or even slandering.no.
And i wont insult other people no matter how hateful the individual is.

I'd avoid writing about politics,federal constitution,governmental issues and of course,conspiracy theories,as my knowledges are as thin as a paper.what i'd say might be viewed differently from other perspectives.though it would be a good food for sarcasms.
avoid,not ignored.

And im damn sure im not a traffic monger.the visitor counter up there was just for show.as accurate as it is,yes.but most of the views are from me myself,checking out how dumb my blog looks everytime i posted somehing new.there you have it.i dont give a damn about how much people would sit and stare at my page and piss away just like that.

So why?



Why do i write?



Ever heard of the word 'personal blog'?

Ever wondered why i had never once promoted my blog on other websites?facebook,for example.it isnt so hard to copy paste this link to the latter,
poof! blog shared,craps updated.people kind enough to visit,followers increased,traffic jammed,haters increased.rant about how much the haters hate you,hey,why not let the whole world know of your prideful haters?share on facebook!
there goes the same publicity roulette.

What would i get?
A thin line of privacy.
It aint that personal now is it?

Actually my memories arent that good.weak,in other word.thats why i tend to forgive and forget.i have no obligation of reminiscing the past fault.why i prefer active over passive.

The reason i write was to record the events in my timeline,the occurances that brings memorable moments in my life,so it would not be forever vanished in this rotten memories of mine.so i would have remembered my early days when im older.
The sweets and bitterness of life,the luxuries i shared despites the hardship i strived.
I dont see the need of an overrated publicity.because i am a mere nobody.
If you happens to stumble accross my blog

Welcome to my life :)




yes im a narcissist i'd show people what i have,in the name of appreciation.but i know my limit.

black ops

as the title suggest,its all about black ops this time.yes,the highly anticipated game of the year that was made as the highlight of interweb traffics mainly centres in game and hardware forums and again,a title that sparked yet another controversy despite its hollywood-rated cinematography,in the end its all about the hype

okay im starting to sound like some guys on ign.
black ops made it way into the platform 3 weeks ago.i got the game a week later.
i really wanted to see how it turned out,so i bought a copy of it.illegally.
my first impression on it was...very satisfying.
there are some parts that had blown my mind,n there are some which appears dull throughout the level.
the second mission on vorkuta left me with repetitive playback.i  kept playing that level over and over again.
reasons?the reappearance of Viktor Reznov.

            "Victory cannot be achieved without sacrifice, Mason... We Russians know this better than anyone"

that same Reznov from World at war Russian campaign,how i loved that campaign.his inspirational word of wise was what drove me forward,regardless how much of a failure i experienced throughout the level.i may be exaggerating things here.im not even Russian,lol.but it all seems surreal.the character itself was meant to seed the patriotism and love for the country,the sacrificial willingness crucial for ensuring victories.
funny,i find myself repeatedly chanting the 8 steps to freedom at the event of the vorkuta raid.
worse,i felt a great loss as the prisoners drop like flies,one by one
and the death of  Sergei kozin,the monster of Magadan left a big gap in my head.
what a waste of potential it was

feeling  mixed up emotions of fictional game characters?someone help me. (;_;)
ive wandered off too deep into the understanding of visual culture,now i wonder if im still normal *sigh*

another thing that made the game great was the fact that Mason was voiced by Sam Worthington.that dude who played  Jake sully and Marcus wright.what more can i say,he did a pretty damn good job on the voice.

regarding the storyline,it was acceptable.i liked it better than modern warfare2,which was damn straightforward and predictable.meh.
for someone who oppose the mainstream as myself,i needed a twist;just like what black ops had offered.though the whole thing was made for the mainstream,anyway.
though the game did sparked another controversy,just as its predecessor did.
where you were ordered an assassination on Fidel Castro,while he's probably living his days with his family somewhere on the other side of the earth.

i dont see why i should hate Treyarch.he did a great job on this,not the perfect kind of game that deserves a solid 10 out of 10 but it was worth it.totally a top of the chart for a fps game.

people buy modern warfare for the change of pace,from the early days of world war to the modern-day crisis.Infinity Ward had done it,the game received multiple awards in 2007.
then came world at war.people buy it,thinking it was from the same developer,just to be turned down by the revert of setting back to WW2 by Treyarch.
modern warfare 2,the most overrated game of the decade,if not year,was the pride of all gamers.
it seems to me that IW got cocky and end up making the multiplayer tad imbalanced.too much,actually.
it was too mainstream.too much of a cliche.nil
i still remember those past few months where you couldnt escape from a featured "MW2 Kill Montage" clips somewhere around your youtube homepage.im sick of it myself.
now dont be surprise if black ops had taken the throne.


thats it for now.its the first time im writing an up to date on video games,as i just got my graphic card a few months ago.and i didnt own a supercomputer before.or even a console.

Ledang sweet Ledang

yaawn dh lama aku tk feed kjadah ni
anyway i was away for a few days.sekali sekala balik kampung
celebrated Aidiladha there.


spent the rest of the day at cc x)
i have to admit,the cc there is quite nice.
less people,decent connection and rig build that left me with a butthurt.that butthurt.
a GT240 with 3GB ddr2 each.
shame on you ewave,kingsurf & SP
the kids there werent as screwed as the kaki paw here in Perling.
most of them were minors,
yes.i was made as a pathetic excuse by my lil cousin,who's currently 10,
just to get him into the hole safely.
eagerly mentioned before,most of them were minors.somewhere around 7-12.
daw,kamon.even nk bukak game pn aku kne babysit satu2.
inesen lagi,rasanya blum merayap into 'that' deeper region of  interwebs x)
in the end,i find myself enjoying a short LAN party with those kids.
it felt great to be accepted.lol.


bagus la, motif dah kelaut.
certain thing yang nyata berbeza,here and there;temperature yg slightly lower.
not that significantly lower,
but hey,anything better than a living sauna


and oh,celcom bb.u suck there.


aah no,aku tak join sembelih.mau2 aku yang mnangis kang.serious aku lemah bab2 cabut nyawa binatang ni.


My blog deserves a name,like the rest of my things.something easy to call.hey,its personal (-A-)

meh

a lot of things happened this month




~.~






gonna pile it up in the next post.not in da mood to write.not gonna think about it.
minds at war with pens & paper.
oh well.patience is the cure for all suffer.
bene rem gere  ^__^










enjoy,Beatus from imperfect harmonies.my favourite song of the album. :->

imperfect harmonies

don't compare it to SOAD. It won't compare. Matched with
Serj's first album, the differences in style and lyrical content are
staggering. But that doesn't make it any less good. Each song is
gripping; Serj's vocals soaring above the instrumentals, sticking in
our minds. The messages contained in each song are incredibly
deep, and meaningful.
For Serj to make an album like this, for it to sound completely
different to his natural area, and for it to be good, is a great
achievement.
Unlike Linkin Park's latest album,(my bro's current earworm) which tries a similar approach,
Serj surpasses them by miles. His new sound is relaxed, and
won't alienate fans should they look at it with an open mind.






Serj, I applaud you.

i seek forgiveness.aku minta maaf

ada member yang aku layan macam kuli
ada member yg rumah dia dah aku anggap macam rumah sndiri
ada member yang jadi jam
tangan aku
Ada yang jadi jadual exam aku
Tak kurang jugak yang jadi pembekal alat tulis aku
Ada member yang pendirian,pendapat diorang ditolak oleh aku,sebab pentingkan self righteousness aku
Ada member yang rasa mcm cakap dengan dinding bila berbual dngan aku
Ada yang aku selalu buat tertunggu2
bila ada member perlukan pertolongan aku,aku berdalih,macam2 alasan keluar.
Bila aku diberi amanah,aku buat half- heartedly.tak pernah nk bersungguh2.
ada yang sudi ajak aku berbual,tapi apa aku Buat?cari alasan untuk lari dari conversation.atas alasan social/communication skill aku teruk.

Bila aku gagal dalam sesuatu,aku salahkan kelemahan aku,kadang2 persekitaran aku
Termasuklah member2 aku
Ada yang kecik hati,sakit hati,meluat dengan perangai aku
Apa yang aku cuba buktikan?
Aku cuma nk cakap,sedar/tak sedar aku banyak buat silap dengan orang di sekitar aku.
Ada je hidup orang yang aku susahkan
dalam kesempatan ni,aku nak mohon maaf dkat semua kawan2 aku,member sekelas aku....dan semua orang yang pernah aku sakiti,aku annoyed,aku kecewakan & yang rasa macam dihiraukan oleh aku.aku tak pernah berniat nak sakitkan hati sesiapa.
Aku mintak maaf bebanyak


To my internet friends,I seek forgiveness from all of you.I am sorry if my application of sarcasms/inappropriate choice of words in our usual conversation/posts had offended you .I am sorry if I ever made your life worse with my lame approaches,most of all,i am sorry for ignoring you.I'm trying my best to start where I left off.thank you for being my friend ,thank you for the help.

I wish you a joyful eid mubarak.
Slamat hari raya,maaf zahir & batin

Temporal shift

heh.i can't go online.
till when,i wonder.yeah,i'll wait for someone who's generous enough to provide wifi in this area,as if that's gonna happen.

Connections are unavailable.the very same thing I got everytime I try to hook up the internoob.thanks,i assume your series of generosity is making its toll now.
Now that I got myself a new medium with better interface,frequent blog posts are to be expected.

That depends.
Jya